Legally a Minor
by Vamps-with-Wings
Summary: Max has had enough of Brigid hanging all over Fang, and when the perfect opportunity to shove the truth right down Brigid's throat arises, what else can Max do but take it with ease? After all, Max ALWAYS wins.


**Authors Note: Just an idea I had while discussing how much I hated Brigid with ****The Black Rose 1995****. Takes place after the fifth book, MAX. I'm thinking this is just going to be an instance where the flock is doing some work for the CSM, and every one happens to be staying together, which will explain why Brigid is there. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride or any of the characters affiliated with the books, James Patterson does . . . as if he wasn't famous enough . . **

**Dedication: The Black Rose 1995, since our ranting about how incredibly . . . ugh . . . Brigid is inspired this Oneshot!**

**And so without further ado, I give you . . .**

**Legally a Minor**

* * *

A scream pierced the night, like a ripple effect through the atmosphere. For a minuscule second I was worried, ready to dive through the air like the wind was water. I was prepared to rescue some innocent civilian, when the voice registered in my mind, and it all became too clear what this whole situation was for.

"Help! Someone help me!" She cried out, trying to look as helpless as possible.

"Oh good grief," I snarled, rolling my eyes.

Fang shot me a look, his dark hair being flung haywire in the wind. I knew that look all too well.

"Fang, no! She's just trying to get your attention," I insisted.

"Max, please, Brigid is my _friend_. She obviously needs help, hence the screaming."

"_Fang_!" I replied plaintively.

I got an eye roll in return.

"I thought this was supposed to be our night," I muttered glaring at the horizon, watching as the sun lowered in the sky like a giant fire ball of doom. How romantic. Now if that giant fire ball of doom would swoop down and eat Brigid, it could quite possibly be the best day of my life.

Fang's gaze softened just the tiniest bit and he pulled on my hand, forcing me so close to him that I had no choice but to fold in my wings. He held me tightly to him so I wouldn't fall, his dark eyes smoldering in the dying light of dusk. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine, his massive black wings beating steadily all the while, being the only things keeping us aloft.

When he pulled back I saw the determined look on his face and I knew that no matter what I said, he was going to go running right into that little witches trap, even if it was one of the few nights we were able to just be by ourselves. I thought chivalry was dead! Apparently it doesn't know how to stay that way.

As Fang disappeared from view, I gained some stability in the air before following after him, much to my distaste. The last thing I needed was to watch Dr. Stupendous fall all over _my _boyfriend. I mean, was it so hard for her to get that he was _not _interested . . . Not that he made it a point or anything. No, no, he insisted on hanging out with her even if it was obvious that I didn't like her. I didn't trust her either, yet he studiously ignored me. How wonderful of him to take into account _my _feelings.

I flung a low hanging branch out of my path, grumbling to myself as I followed Fang's retreating back. I could still plainly hear Dr. Amazing's whimpering just ahead . . . yeah, _fake _whimpering. Fang couldn't possibly be so stupid! I knew for a fact he wasn't. So why did he refuse to believe that Brigid had a very unhealthy *cough obsession cough* with him? Unless . . . No, it couldn't be! But maybe it was true . . . it would seem so very likely.

Was it possible that Fang _knew _Brigid was interested in him? . . . Which turned my thoughts to the inevitable. If he did know; did this mean he _liked _it?

Well crap!

_**A few days later . . .**_

There was a tentative knock at the door. I looked up, not realizing how absorbed I had been in my drawing. Yeah, didn't you know? I was, amongst my many other impressive talents, an artist now. I guess I was just naturally good a doing a variety of things.

Okay, truthfully: My mom gave me a book to read (Um, HAHA! Me, reading? I don't think so) and I promised her I wouldn't leave my room until I finished it . . . and about halfway through (the first page) I got bored and tossed it aside. Then, in order not to make my mom suspicious, I had decided it would be best to just go on ahead and kill some time. Since there was neither a TV nor a computer, I had been stuck with a pencil and paper.

The knocking continued, and I jumped up hastily, almost knocking my chair over in the process. Crap! Where was that dang book!? I bet that was mom right outside the door, coming to check on how I was faring . . . She better not ask me questions, or I swear-

"Aha!" I cried triumphantly as the thin book tumbled out from the tangle of sheets on my bed. I swiped it up quickly and raced back over to the desk, brushing the drawing into the drawer as fast as I could. Not before I noticed what I had been aimlessly doodling though . . .

Mostly it was just a lot of Brigid . . . Yeah, Brigid being eaten by an Eraser . . . Brigid being eaten by a giant fire ball of doom . . . Brigid being eaten by carnivorous bunnies . . . Brigid being eaten by a hobo we had seen in New York . . . Brigid being eaten by Edward Cullen, that sexy (what can I say? Even I'm not immune to his gentlemanly charm) vampire from Twilight . . . Brigid being eaten by- Oh God! What was that!?

What can I say? I have quite an imagination.

The knocking grew more insistent now, and so I slammed the drawer shut quickly, and with the picture out of sight, I thew myself down on my bed, opened up to a page at random and called out, "Uh- Yeah? It's open!"

And guess who was standing there on the other side of the threshold?

My mom? No.

Fang? No.

Angel? No.

Gazzy? No.

Nudge? No.

Iggy? No.

Santa Claus? Good guess, but no.

Brigid? And we have a winner!

"Hi, Max," Dr. Amazing greeted me, stepping inside and shutting the door carefully behind her.

"Is there something you needed?" I asked as sweetly as I could, though I'm sure my words came out extremely strained.

"Actually, yes. I wanted to talk to you about something," she said, eyeing me nervously.

"Is it going to take long? Because I have to finish this book before I leave this room, and I'd really like to be out in time for dinner," I said quickly, hoping with every fibre of my being that she would just _go away_.

With my history, you can imagine how well that went over with the man upstairs.

"Oh, it won't take more than a minute," she assured me, sitting down delicately on the slightly askew desk chair.

"Uh, oh . . . okay," I said, my smile faltering.

We sat in silence for a moment, and I wasn't sure what she was waiting on. It wasn't like I was going to start a conversation with her. If she had something to say, she better get busy. I didn't want to sit here all day, staring at that annoying face. She seemed to sense my growing discomfort because she folded her hands in her lap and turned to face me, squaring her shoulders.

"I've been meaning to discuss this with you for quite some time . . . but I just never really knew how to bring it up," she explained.

"Well I'm all ears," _and a fist to your face_.

"Um . . . okay, well then I guess I'll just get right to it . . . You and Fang are really close, right?" I hated where this was going already.

I nodded mutely.

"You see Max, I've spent a lot of time with Fang myself . . . and he's really great. I mean, the way he can sit there and listen to every word I say, and then actually be able to agree with me, is amazing. He shows interest in everything about my field of study, and he always has reasonable questions. He's a very handsome young man, too," she said, blushing profusely at her ending statement.

This could not be headed where I think this was headed.

"And I know you two are best friends . . . and so I figured Fang probably talks to you more than anyone else, or at the very least you would be able to tell what his feelings were."

"Feelings?" I asked numbly.

"Yeah, I mean, about me. His feelings about me. I really like him, Max, and I think he likes me too. I mean, we're always together, and he always swoops in and saves me, like a few days ago. He's my hero, and . . . and I think I'm falling in love with him."

I wanted to make her stop. I didn't want to listen to it anymore, but I was paralyzed, unable to move.

"But I wanted to make sure of his feelings before I said anything to forward . . . so what do you think Max? Do you think he likes me as much as I like him? Has he said anything?" Brigid asked hopefully, staring at me with wide eyes. "And, kind of, in your own way, I wanted to ask for your . . . blessing? You two are so close, and I only think it's fair to ask you if you approve . . ."

That snapped me out of my state real quick.

"I don't," I said stonily, coming to my feet. She stood as well, glancing at me peculiarly.

"What do you mean?" She inquired, startled at my sudden outburst.

"Listen to me, and listen to me good. I don't want you anywhere near Fang, you got that? Never, in a million years, would I give you, you little conniving pest, my blessing. I would never, and will never, approve of you taking _special _interest in Fang," I sneered, letting the venom leak into my words, letting her know just how serious I was.

Her face hardened into an unreadable mask. Fang must have been giving her lessons.

"I'm sorry to hear you say that, Max, but in truth, it really doesn't matter whether you approve or not. Your just jealous that Fang himself has taken interest in someone other than you. Is little Maxie mad that for once in her life she isn't the center of attention?" She snapped.

"Excuse me?" I asked coldly, taking a step towards her, my hand balled into a fist, ready to strike.

"Face it, Max. He likes me, I know it. He wouldn't spend so much time with me he didn't. You think I don't notice how he blows you off to be with me? Oh, I take special note of that. It's always a nice show, seeing your face after her declines one of your offers to go for a fly."

"Do you know how sick you are!? You're twenty one! He's fourteen. That's a difference of seven years," I pointed out.

"Eh, who ever worries about an age difference? I've seen people marry a person half their age. Seven little years won't make much of a difference."

"Is that what your going to say in court? Is that going to be your story when your locked in a jail cell!? Because, legally, Fang's still a minor. Therefore, it would be illegal for you to engage in a relationship with him!"

"I thought of that, believe me I did. But your wrong . . . It's illegal for me to have a _sexual _relationship with him. Trust me, I can wait a few years."

"Been a long time?" I asked acidly.

"Like you would know anything about it you fourteen year old brat!" She spat at me.

That was the last straw. My fist flew forwards so fast even I had trouble seeing it. My knuckles slammed right into her jaw, cracking her head backwards. She stumbled backwards, leaning on the wall for support. She spit out a mouthful of blood, fighting back tears.

"What the [insert swear word of your choice] is going on in here!?" Fang exclaimed from the doorway, rushing into the room when he saw the blood.

"Are you okay?" He grabbed my arm, searching me over for injures.

I yanked my arm from his grasp before saying scathingly, "Of course I'm alright. It's your little girlfriend you should be worried about."

He raised an eyebrow at my use of the word 'girlfriend'.

Just then Brigid began blubbering like crazy, throwing herself at Fang, who had no choice but to reach his arms out to catch her. She latched herself onto his torso like a freaking leech. Stupid bloodsucker.

"What happened?" Fang asked once more, eyeing me over Brigid's nasty, and unnatural, shade of red hair. I mean, her being blonde I could handle, but then she mysteriously goes ginger? It makes me hate her even more.

"Oh, Fangy! I just came to talk to her, and she went insane! She hit me for no reason," Dr. Amazing cried, burying her face into Fang's shoulder. He patted her back awkwardly, while glaring at me.

"_Max_."

"What the-!? No reason!? I would hardly call you insulting me continually no reason," I said indignantly.

"I came to you for advice, and you insulted _me_!"

"What advice?" Fang asked warily.

"Oh, you know, she just wanted my take on whether or not you liked her. I mean, she herself is, and I quote 'falling in love you'. She even dared to ask me for my blessing. Why the [insert swear word of your choice here] would I approve of such a thing!?" I screamed.

"That's private!" Frigid Brigid screeched, and trust me, it sounded just as bad as you imagined.

I stuck my tongue out at her on an impulse, admittedly acting like a child, and not really caring either way.

Fang extricated himself from her arms, taking a step away.

"Okay, I think maybe now is a good time for everyone to calm down," he suggested.

"No, I think now is a good time for the truth. Tell her, Fang!" I ordered.

He gave me a pleading look.

"Tell her!" I insisted.

"Max, please, now isn't the time for something like that."

"_Tell her_!"

"No, Max. Things are dramatic enough as it is."

Something inside me broke just then, and an extra weight settled itself on my heart. All of my worst fears were coming true. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if Itex and the School had rebuilt itself over night and were out to exterminate us again. Oh, and then the Chu-meister would probably pop in with a vat of toxic waste and make an alliance with them.

"You're right," I said, going numb all over. "You shouldn't tell her. After all, the past is the past. We wouldn't want any previous memories to come haunting this new relationship."

"Max, don't be ridiculous! You know who I chose!"

"Then why won't you just say it!?" I exclaimed, shoving him roughly.

Fang stared me straight in the eyes for a moment, almost like he was searching for something. I just gazed back, fighting tears. I could feel them building though, and any second they were going to tumble over. He seemed to sense this, because he reached out his hand and caught a drop right as it fell.

"Alright," he sighed, turning to face Dr. Stupendous.

"Fang, don't be fooled by her! You know we have something, something special! I know you can feel it too, otherwise you wouldn't spend so much time with me; otherwise you wouldn't blow her off so much," Brigid insisted.

"I've been blowing you off?" Fang directed the question at me, seeming faintly surprised.

"Uh- Yeah!"

He nodded thoughtfully before turning to look at Frigid Brigid once more. He sighed again, running a hand through is black hair. After a moment he finally opened his mouth and said, "It's not really a secret that I'm not so good with words . . . so I don't really know how to tell you this. I don't know if there's even really a right way to say it . . ." he trailed off, lost.

I decided that we might as well get this over quickly and extremely painfully, on Brigid's behalf. I stepped forwards, setting an hand on Fang's shoulder. He looked over at me quizzically, the question clear in his eyes.

"You're right; we all know your not one for the chit-chatting. So how about we just do this?" I suggested, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him towards me. I raised my head, even having to stand on my tip-toes slightly (Gosh, when did he get so freaking tall!?) and he realized fairly quickly what I was doing. With a slight smirk he pressed his lips to mine, resting his hands on my waist. Brigid let out a satisfactory shriek of surprise, and I couldn't help but grin beneath Fang's lips.

"What the [insert swear word of your choice here]!?" Dr. Amazing screamed, looking like she was about to burst into tears.

"Don't you get it!? Fang doesn't like you! It's a miracle he even considers you a friend. I, for one, don't see the attraction to even that much," I spat viciously at her, letting my words sink in _real _deep.

"Bu-but . . . You . . . and then he . . . and all the times he said . . . and it seemed like . . ." Brigid stuttered incoherantly, her eyes wide, looking like a crazed animal.

"Look, Brigid; I'm really sorry if I misled you. I only ever considered you a friend . . . and if it seemed like anything more, it was probably from the trip to Antarctica, when I was trying to make Max jealous," Fang explained, tightening his hold around my waist.

"So you _were _trying to make me jealous!" I said incredulously.

"Of course I was! You know the only girl I've ever loved was you . . . and then you totally blew all of my attempts off by running away. Then you tried to insist that there was never an us . . . and so I figured the only way to make you see that there was something there was to make you jealous."

Huh, that was kind of a mouthful for someone like Fang. It also made me want to hit him, but that could come later.

"UGH!" Brigid screamed in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. With her lower lip quivering she stormed out of the room, shoulders lowered in dejection.

As she left I felt the overwhelming need to stick out my tongue at her back.

"I feel kind of bad," Fang admitted.

"Don't be . . . There's an obvious positive side to this," I pointed out, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.

I leaned in closer and whispered, "I win."

He cracked a smile, making my whole world brighten. For just an instance I imagined that the whole universe was caving in around me, but I knew that I wouldn't _really _notice. He closed the remaining space between us, but just before our lips touched he murmured, "Yeah, you win."

**Authors Note: All I can say is serves Brigid RIGHT! Haha. Dang, this turned out to be a lot longer than I would have expected. Also, I started this and it went in an entire different direction, but I started over at a certain point because I wanted this fic to be more light hearted and comical than serious and dramatic. Should I finish the other and post it as an alternate version? Ah, well, tell me in a REVIEW! I would really appreciate it!**


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